She's gonna wait..

Friday, March 29, 2013

siapa cakap nak jadi cikgu, senang?

logicallynya, memang senang nak jadi cikgu. dahulu. zaman pak kaduk. era tok nenek kita. asal pass darjah 6, okay anda boleh keluar sekolah dan apply sebagai seorang guru. imagine, budak 12 tahun dah boleh masuk mengajar, memang tak dinafikan, itu dahulu. waktu pendidikan hanyalah sekadar ABC, 123.

tapi, kalau ada yang berkata nak jadi cikgu sekarang senang, meh sini. duduk elok elok, meh kita bincang baik baik kenapa hakikat sebenar untuk menjadi seorang guru makin susah.

kenapa rasa macam suasana tegang nih? okay chill qistina, chill.

last week, ada terjumpa this one senior. we talked a lot, about the future and how she's doing now, especially dengan posting and things like that. to my surprise, a lot of new things and new terms she told us, and those are really new to us. sangat baru, sampaikan we had no clue of those new things. maybe la ade, but salah qistina jugak sebab seperti katak di bawah tempurung, jarang yang amattt sekali nak beli newspaper, tengok berita apatah lagi. =___="

she shared a lot about her experiences. not to mention all of those, tapi seriously. to be a teacher je pun bukan calang calang orang sekarang. even you're in the system (contoh IPG or UPSI or other IPTAs), jawatan tu tak sure lagi dapat. you have to undergo interviews, for the lucky ones mungkin dapat penilaian khas, and untuk yang cepat maybe can apply for interim.

penilaian khas contohnya, she kept reminding us to fulfill the 3 main criteria; PNGK 3.5 and above, gred praktikum the least is A-, and dapat recommendation dari pihak kolej. okay boleh start garu kepala pikiaq dok kumpui Cs merata.

interview? to compete now dengan other graduates from the unis, you really have to be fully active, confident, everything must tip-top one lehhh. takkan interviewer nak tertarik kat orang koman koman ye dop? okay mungkin boleh garu hidung.

interim? she mentions about the other friends; senang nak dapatnya kalau apply kat sabah sarawak. kalau semenanjung, most probably johor, this is what she said. okay mungkin boleh garu mata?

to be honest, to be a teacher is one of my kanak-kanak ambitions. kalau dulu people keep saying, "Hey, be a teacher. Noble job kot." and i was like.. so? tapi once dah immersed dalam society pendidikan ni, dia punya feeling serius lain. rasa semangat nak ubah mentaliti masyarakat tu membuak buak. rasa macam tugas cikgu nih.. adventure dia kalah james bond.

tapi.. kadang kadang tu low self-esteem tu ada gak ah nak menerpa, menghasut. "Alah, belum tentu dapat position cikgu tu pun. Tak payah fikir sangat ah, kalau dapat, jadi. Kalau tak dapat, find a new job. End of story."

the thing is; kalau sekarang tak fikir, what are the other options i have?

housewife could be the best one, home-schooling anak anak, and at the end of the day; you're still a teacher kan? okay istilah anak anak itu nampak beno nipunye, advance sungguh teman ni haa!

ahhh, mana mana pun bagi habis final year dulu.

p/s : all these could be just my opinion. kalau ada salah silap, well, that's just opinion. sorry in advance then. peace yaww! ^______^"

Thursday, March 28, 2013

suprise satun chillin' time!

sabtu lepas, arrived home safely for a-week holiday. should be tak balik pun, but i insisted of going back, like desperately i need to be at home. with things going on di maktab's life, i guess i've made the right decision. i just need space and time to get myself recharged, and this could be the right one. alhamdulillah, so far so good. the days are fully occupied dengan banyak benda, and the suprise ayah buat is the most highlighted one!

few weeks back, ayah asked me details about my passport and international stuffs. (like bila expiry date, no passport, what to do bila nak keluar negara, stuffs like that). i didn't think too much, just ingatkan, "oh ya, probably dia just nak isi those details kat form mana mana, nothing much nak bother pun kan." but when he kept mentioning about the expiry date, asking me to confirm again and again (in case anak dia ni, well..), dah mula syak wasangka something.

so i decided.. "I could have asked ibu about this, maybe she knows!" and yeah i did. so, tahap surprise tinggal 50 percent bila dapat tahu, we're going to Thailand!


gittew.

alhamdulillah, segala puji bagi Allah, sesungguhnya aturan Allah itu cantik kan. sungguh, i didn't expect this vacation to be just like what i've been dreaming for - the beach (i've been longing for this lama dah!), the scenery, the quality time i had with loves, the good food (I ate a lot - seafood, banana split tak split, the tomyums; like seriously!), everything - just right timing, right places. no exact word shall describe the whole processes, it's just.. Masha Allah!


muzium, as expected kannn. hewhew


the sukaneka.


the seafood and banana split. murah oiii seafood sini, should try one!


makhluk ini sedang memikirkan masa depannya.. yang tak pasti. ahem.




candid, ce cari mana qistinaaa


tut tuttt, awesome baq hang!


this is how the pekan hat yai looks like. macam pekan rabu je weh!



the photos are just few, as compared to what i had experienced. :)

i learned a lot too, just to say that trying out different views of different people has taught me to be more considerate of others. mungkin masih belajar, but throughout this short vacation has bring something new in me - jangan expect orang untuk faham kita saja, kita yang kena faham orang dulu! this satun trip was actually anjuran kelab keluarga sekolah ayah, ramai gak ah pegi. konvoi dalam 15 kereta camtu, semua orang ade pe'el masing masing. siap ada sukaneka lagi, dan serius awesome baq hang! cikgu cikgu baya mak ayah kita sporting habis :)

Thai's culture - not so much different with ours. (except mat rempit dia sopan santun, tak rempit sangat ahhh macam superman kita LOL). they prefer to use their own language, just few yang dapat converse in English and Malay. helmet pun tak wajib pakai, boleh selamba badak je pegi town tak pakai. the most vehicle used kat sana - trak pikap cam Hilux tu. the people; quite friendly, mungkin few yang rude kat jalan, aksi potong memotong macam race tu ade je macam kat highway plus tu haa). for Muslim food and tempat semayang, iA mudah je nak cari kat this area, since most of them Muslims. this experience really makes me wonder; ini baru satu negara pergi dah discover a lot of new things, what about berapa ratus lagi negara? Allah dah cipta manusia ni berbangsa bangsa, bersuku kaum supaya kita boleh saling kenal. (Al Hujurat: 13) so whatcha been waiting for? go get your stuffs packed, plan your trip to anywhere you like, and explore! as if macam trip tu guna dua ringgit je kan, as if. make sure mampu, sesuai dan berbaloi jugak, okay?

rasa macam ejen travelling companies pulak. enough, enough Qistina. cikgu pelatih ini harus mulakan kerja sekolah bertimbun timbun, kerana masa cuti beliau hanya berbaki empat hari. hmmmmm

typical question; "ni form berapa nih? laaa, dah uni ka, awat muka budak budak sangat nih?" dah biasa dah, dah biasa sangat dah permainan lagu ni. -_-

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

normal.

too much to think about, too much.. for the zillionth time, i feel emotionless, restless, effortless. couldnt even bother what to feel anymore.

even the cengeng tears won't come out now. and that's when i seriously.. seriously have nothing left to say except sabar.

if only the word as easy as it sounds.



i really, really need time untuk duduk tepi laut all alone, just for once to clear up mind. just, for once.

"..even heroes have the right to bleed."

Saturday, March 16, 2013

all good

these few days, really. really. really. lemau days. (bila ada repetition tiga kali, ini sangat serius)

as 'lemau' as biskut tak tutup bekas kedap udara elok elok, lalu bila dijamah, rasa macam "Eh, macam biskut bayi nih, lembik."


i don't know what keeps me busy these few days, but really. asal malam je, everything goes wrong. badan tak sedap, lenguh the whole badan, serious backpain, sleepy sampai tertidur tidur, severe headaches, many more not to be mentioned. almost setiap malam simptom simptom ini berulang, and i just can't help melainkan.. bertahan setakat mana yang termampu.

it was then at one time, i couldn't bear these pains, so i ended up with tears. crying. hoping that these pains will get to end soon, soon enough for me; i know i HAVE TO bear these, but just for the time being, please.. pain, go away.


probably this is the time.

have faith Qistina, have faith that He will always be with you, always be. "..because He knows these pains are the best for you, at this right moment."

seriously, i think i really, really, really need something to get me focused. distractions are everywhere. and these pains could be one of those.

Ya Rabb, satu pinta; berikan rasa redha dan syukur itu melebih segalanya.

Monday, March 4, 2013

what a day.

it's monday, well yeah. long time tak dengaq frasa monday blues. not one for me though, harini isnin yang biasa biasa.

the day started dengan body aches here and there, padan muka untuk tidak terus keep fit dengan senaman, jogging dan sebagainya. berjalan to and fro maktab almost 2 km, tidakkah itu cukup untuk buatkan anda fit, healthy, tidak muscle aches seperti atlet? (konon atlet lah kan)

and the teacher trainee pun meneruskan hari beliau dengan melawat site project; sekolah. it took almost an hour just to check the anak murids' workbooks, itu pun dah complain, "Acane nak mark buku bebudak bebanyak nih, baru 2 buku dah menguap seluas singa mengaum?" rawrsss

balik dari sekolah, terus pegi pejabat TM untuk urusan pembayaran bil. biasalah, cikgu pelatih ini masih tradisional, segalanya tak di hujung jari lagi, kena pegi beratur panjang lagi untuk setel bil. and then she understands the reason kenapa online bill payment telah diwujudkan di Malaysia. untuk pengalaman lebih bermakna, sila ke pejabat pos atau pejabat kerajaan waktu lunch hour untuk explanation tak perlu kata apa apa.

hampir separuh siangnya di luar di bawah sinaran mentari yang menyilau lagi menghabakan, perempuan ini pulang ke teratak imtiyaz. did the housechores, dah setel semua dan eh! dah pukul 5 rupanya.

and the night is all about planning for tomorrow. homework esok, lesson plans kena present, prepare to-do list untuk hari hari mendatang.

and the routine goes on and on and onnnn, possibly goes on macam my heart will go on titanic version.

and what a day, sempat pulak cikgu pelatih ni update belog eh? eh, cikgu tengah multi-tasking nih, mengarang sambil ber-lesson plan-ing. tak nampak ke? *angkat kening sebelah*

p/s : see the life through better perspectives. cuba untuk lihat positivity dalam setiap benda, your life will be great! Alhamdulillah, what a day You've given me. :)