She's gonna wait..

Friday, May 22, 2015

can't wait to get lost in my own world

2 months feels like 2 days ago (well, sort of)

too many things happened, i've met the nicest people on earth, lost the usual appetite (current weight below forty), been running here and there doing things i should be doing, messing up the workplace table (got bundles of papers, files, exercise books, you name it) and so many things i couldn't say it all here.

my life mantra now is; "Ibu, ina tak larat la..." and i say it everyday without fail, i know i am a bad teacher...

the fact that Mum is retiring soon, this August makes it even worse for me. how could she leave me having to deal with this career for another 34 years, alone? Dad is another case, he's not a part of us two as he deals with the secondary pupils; he doesn't have to yell so much early of the year sampai hilang suara, he doesn't have to run and chase the 'excited' pupils (read: Year 1) and not to mention he works most in his office now. so yeah, i'm losing one of my close colleagues at home now :(

forget about the previous post, i think i've bottled up too many things lately and that could be the reason for my frequent illness and MCs huhu

i like teaching, i love the kids so much that i've promised to myself to give the best i can to provide the best learning experience to them. but somehow, things just don't go the way you want them to be. too tired to even think, i can say planning a lesson would be the last thing on my mind at the end of the day :(

how am i going to survive the rest of the years? i thought teaching is all fun and exciting to both teacher and pupils, i really thought so :(

while writing this, believe it or not, i feel like crying like a baby and just that.

long way to go and you have to endure it. please. you are here because Allah wants you to be here, you'll be fine, just fine.