She's gonna wait..

Friday, December 16, 2016

so far, so good

assalam and greetings!

well hello there! how's life treating you so far? am all good, alhamdulillah. not much to update here but there's a need for me to revisit the old posts and have a good laugh. what on earth had i posted before? kenapa rasa macam blogger ini bersifat keanak-anakan sangat postnya :,D

nevermind, i'm not gonna delete those posts, i'm gonna read those again and again and wonder how far i have come to get this far :)

i think that will make a good quick update from me, got works waiting to be done! till then, hope things turn out well for you guys too! keep calm and have a good day everyone :)

Sunday, September 18, 2016

school holidays

it's 11 p.m., tomorrow is the first day school reopens after the school holidays and here, a teacher is updating her blog. please, she needs a life too. pft

school holidays could actually brings in so many emotions - well, it could be positive or negative.

let's just be honest about this.

cuti sekolah can actually be so exciting yet so, frustrating.

exciting in a way i enjoy my free time doing things i love - sleeping, watching movie, hanging out with favourite persons, etc. (mostly things i don't do during school days) i can go to bed as early as 9 p.m. without having any regrets the next morning sebab tak siapkan lesson plan, tak prepare worksheet, dan sebagainya. plus, i don't have to think about the workload - ini cigu memang tara kisah ini worang, waktu cuti dia memang cuti betui.

the dark side of it?

not really that 'dark' but trust me... you won't understand until you're in my shoes.

it's the fifth musim after all the seasons we have in Malaysia. musim kemarau, musim tengkujuh, musim buah, musim jerebu and..... *drum rolls*

musim kenduri!

waktu usia di awal 20-an, tengah famous orang kahwin muda, i was in that bandwagon too. rasa macam, "oh sweetnye! boleh study sesame, boleh grad sesame," until i realize... no, this might be okay to some but not for me. i have dreams to fulfill, i still have to achieve something in my life then only i can think of this. since then, i tried to keep this low.

now that i've already secured myself a job, i began to wonder.. what's next?

and this is the time where i feel i am all alone.

most friends of my age are now getting married (or at least getting engaged), some even have 2 babies already and what are you doing, Qistina? still babysit the school kids yang balik lambat asking "Kenapa balik lambat? Nak teacher hantar ke?"

you would probably say i'm selfish. no, i see myself as a normal human being. blame the hormones and the trend, i know i shouldn't question what Allah has planned for me. tak, i'm not questioning anything. i just wanted to feel i'm doing good, i'm doing just fine by being single. i need to know that it's okay not to be in a relationship, just yet. everyone around me (mostly) are holding their babies and i'm still wondering, "baby tidur berapa jam dalam sehari?" I need to feel that it is absolutely fine, and that's it.

kalau dulu i would feel offended when people ask, "Bila lagi nak kahwin ni?", now i can just smile and "doa-doakanlah, inshaAllah"

cuma bila sampai satu masa yang mana akan ada perasaan tak enak. seperti tak normal bila berada dalam kalangan rakan sebaya yang dah berumah tangga dan you're all alone by yourself, just thinking "is it okay for me not to have what they have?" that thought really kills me, inside.

i believe only girls would feel this way and for that, let's just blame the hormones. waktu type ni pun boleh sebak, memang hati tisu ini worang huhu

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Ramadhan issue

i should be filling in the band and TP for my PBS data right now, but we do need breaks in between work. (i know i'm good at making up excuses)

so, hello and assalamualaikum everyone! it has been ages *echo* since i last carve something here. well, blame the time and the endless work - be it at school or home, both really take up most of my time, that's why they say work for a living *smirks*

so how things going on for you? as for me, so far, all good - the first half of the year has gone (time flies so fast i thought i just posted something on school was about to start) and it's already the second term of the year! yeay to what you did great and try again to all dissappointment you might have last time.

now we're in Ramadhan, the most awaiting month of all. a month of which i strongly believe test you as a real muslim - the patience, the pain, the strong will and whether you can be a better one in the next 11 months.

but there are things i feel sorry for this time.

non-muslims were not allowed to eat in front of the muslims just because "hey, we're fasting over here, please have some respect,"

LIKE REALLY? are you serious, are you getting affected with the action as if your imaan really depends on seeing other people eat and that's it? do you think the non-muslims aren't human after all? don't they have to eat? don't they have to fulfill their Maslow's theory of needs that they HAVE to eat in order to survive? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE I TOTALLY CANNOT BRAIN THIS.

Rasulullah even do good to non muslims. it's actually a way to dakwah - we're giving them the true impression of Islam. we treat them nicely, help them when they in need and show a good example of a Muslim. some of the nons even have the courtesy to ask "is it okay if i sip my drink, teacher?" during classes and here you are, being the selfish one thinking all about yourself. aren't you ashamed of how you carry the name of Islam?

i seldom say things like this in public because i think it is unnecessary to point out things you can't change, but this is getting worsened.

when i was in nz, we had our Ramadhan during the term - means classes are still on, the datelines are as scheduled. it was amazing to hear some of the lecturers acknowledge the fact that we're fasting - they kept asking "how's your fasting so far? what time will you break fast?" and tried not to consume any food in front of us muslims. that was really thoughtful, and i felt very warm and welcomed in their country.

the point is, we should be considerate and tolerant enough to our non-muslim friends - they're doing a favour to us actually by trying to live in peace and harmony.

please please, let's check back our imaan and faith. are we really potraying how a muslim should be?

Saturday, February 13, 2016

nothing much, just..

you're doing well, right?

either i worry too much or it's school holidays i got more free time to even have a thought about you

take care!

Monday, February 1, 2016

how's your weekend?

so, erm.. i guess i better start writing here since i need to spill whatever i have in mind.

weekends, so far so good, i'm glad i have fully made use of it before the extra classes start somewhere in mid feb! oh gosh it's not that i hate tuition, i just dislike the fact that i'll be having half-day Saturday and probably another half-day of Sunday, who knows something might get in (LDPs, all sorts of events)

the ideal Sunday for me would be just laying on the bed, doing nothing or probably doing activities at my own pace, taking that sweet little time enjoying every moment. rather than having to rush here and there, i'd prefer it to be at leisure; kalau nak outing or go shopping pun, takyah kalut kalut, settle things that need to be done first, then only baru keluar.

tapi cukup pantang kalau hari Ahad ajak keluar.

sebab konon macam eh esok nak pegi sekolah kan, kenapa nak keluar? why don't get yourself prepared mentally and emotionally for Monday and the blues?

i better get some sleep now. till then

Sunday, January 24, 2016

and that was the hardest goodbye, ever

the fact that we are not promised to see each other again or we would have another next time,

now that explains why i hesitate in bidding farewell.

i better keep the words safe.

semoga yang baik baik untuk kamu.